The Book Wench

Well, my friends, I have officially graduated with my Masters Degree. It took five years (only taking two classes a semester because of either working full time or my health issues causing trouble) but I did it.

I have been taking a break from everything since finishing, even reading. It seems weird that I would need to relax from reading, especially as a book lover and blogger, but I promise, working on a Literature-based degree can really hamper your love of reading. It’s usually only temporary, but it can happen to the best of us.

Thinking about that, I wanted to write a quick post describing the difference between reading for grad school and reading for pleasure. Many, if not most, of you guys will be familiar with this as lots of people are working on graduate-level degrees these days, or you may understand from your time in undergrad or even high school. Still, for those who may not understand, I thought it might be an interesting insight.

When I read for pleasure, nothing is expected of me but to read. I can read at my own, comfortable pace. I can get as immersed in the book as I choose, and I don’t HAVE to pay attention to themes and motifs in the book, even if they are readily present and obvious. I can just laze my way through the novel(s) at my leisure.

When I read for school, I have to constantly be on guard. I could be reading a book that I have wanted to read (or have already read) but I approach the book almost jaded because I know that I will have to be paying attention to EVERYTHING. Every word, every pause, every sentence and how it is structured. Anything could become fodder for literary study, and it is expected that I notice it. Because of this, reading becomes EXHAUSTING. Even if it’s a book you end up loving or have read before. You never know what you will be tested on or will have to write a paper or essay question about. Anything and everything is fair game. Which means you are always on alert. Why is the door blue? Why is her name Sarah? What is the meaning of this phrase or that dialogue tag? How does this make you feel? It’s almost a game, trying to make sure you see and make note of everything. But it’s a game you are always losing because trust me, someone else will always see something or glean something from the text that you didn’t, and it can trigger serious imposter syndrome. Am I smart enough to study this? Why didn’t I see that or make that connection? Why couldn’t I word my assessment as well as she did or explain my thesis like he did? It’s truly exhausting.

I have maybe read six or seven chapters of a book (Blood Over Bright Haven) since I finished with my last paper a week ago because I got a little jaded with reading and kinda wanted a break. I don’t hate reading now or anything that drastic, I just need to reset my brain a little to make sure that it understands the difference and that it no longer needs to be on alert…yet. I will be doing a massive reread of The Lord of the Rings in a couple of weeks to start doing research for some scholarly articles that I would like to write. But the good thing is that I’m setting the parameters and know from the beginning what I want to look out for. There is, strangely, a difference between reading a book you love for an academic purpose with parameters you set completely and reading a book you love with unknown parameters set by a professor.

This happened to me when I finished my bachelor’s as well, so I’m not too worried. That one only lasted as long as it did because my mother died a couple of months after I graduated. She was the one that developed my love of reading the most so reading became incredibly painful for a time.

Has anyone else felt jaded after finishing a degree that was heavy on reading? What degree did you get and how heavy was the reading workload? how long did it take you to get back into reading?